In Simon Sinek's Top 3 Leadership Traits, the second trait he highlights is integrity. It's a close cousin to courage because, in my experience, it often takes courage to maintain your integrity, especially in challenging situations. Integrity isn't just about doing what's right when it's easy; it's about staying true to your values and ethics when the stakes are high, even if it comes at a personal or professional cost.

I was reminded of this on a project a while back when one of my colleagues faced unprofessional behavior from a client. The client made comments like "Have you been paying attention?" and "What's wrong with you?"-things that felt very out of line. The situation had an unfortunate, but all too familiar, undertone: the kind you see when a woman in a predominantly male environment gets treated differently. While I hope that wasn't the case, you can't fault me for making that connection, given the difference in how she was treated versus how I had been treated by the same client.

Integrity and Ethics

When you talk about integrity, you also have to talk about ethics. And to me, this was not ethical treatment of anyone on my team. My first instinct was to push back hard against the client because that kind of behavior was unacceptable in my book. But, as anyone in the consulting world knows, it's not always that simple. You can't just burn bridges at the first sign of trouble. Consulting requires a careful balance-standing up for what's right while preserving the client relationship. However, this doesn't mean tolerating unethical behavior or compromising your values for the sake of business.

It's also critical that your team sees your ethics in practice. They need to feel that you have their back and that you won't tolerate injustice. When your team sees that you're willing to stand up for them, it builds trust and shows them that you'll take a stand when it's needed. You can-and should-address issues head-on, but it often requires strategic thinking and patience. Finding the right time and the right way to confront the issue is key. It's not about brushing things under the rug, but about ensuring your response aligns with both your principles and the long-term success of the relationship.

This brings me to a quote I recently came across on Instagram: "Integrity is not something you show others. It is how you behave behind their back." Integrity isn't something you need to overtly advertise; it becomes apparent through your actions, even when nobody is watching. That really resonated with me because, in leadership, it's often the decisions we make behind the scenes that speak the loudest about our character.

Cooler Heads Prevail

In this case, we took a step back. Behind the scenes, cooler heads relayed to the client that, if this really happened, it was unacceptable. Most importantly, we did not sacrifice our integrity. It was a risk, but we made sure to handle it carefully. I had someone else deliver the message through the appropriate channels to ensure it was received with the right tone and context. Whatever happened behind the scenes after that, the situation turned out for the best.

And while my gut reaction that day was to push back hard, in the end, I'm glad we approached it this way. Why? Because that same team member went on to stay with the client, working happily with them for over a year. She became such a valued contributor that they relied on her long after the rest of the team had rolled off the project.

Integrity Meets Courage

A good leader needs integrity-not just to stand up for their team, but to balance that with the courage to make decisions that are right for the business. If the client's behavior had continued, our management team would have taken action to "fire" them, no question. Well... okay, there might have been questions-lots of them-because that's not a trivial decision! But the perceived behavior was not something to be taken lightly. While it wasn't my decision to push back directly, I had to stay resolute in expressing that the impact on my team was unacceptable. It was important for me to make it clear to our leadership that this wasn't an overreaction on our part, and that the situation truly warranted a response. Too often, excuses like "everyone has a bad day" are used to avoid taking action, but I knew this needed to be addressed.

If we had gone with my initial reaction that day, my team member might have lost out on what turned out to be a hugely valuable professional experience. In the consulting world, successfully navigating a project with a client for over a year is no small feat.

Integrity isn't always about immediate action or standing up in a moment of conflict. Sometimes it's about having the patience and wisdom to let things play out, to see if a cooler, more diplomatic approach can lead to a better outcome for everyone involved.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Have you faced moments where you had to balance integrity and business considerations? Share your experiences in the comments below-let's discuss how we navigate these tough leadership calls.